Urban Expression Induction Day and other thoughts

Today I had the privilege of attending the Urban Expression Induction Day which was held at the London Mennonite Centre. It was a great day of meeting other people who are moving into urban areas to live alongside people and witness to the kingdom of God. It was really brilliant meeting other people who are at a similar stage to Phil and I, although we are moving into a place that already has some kind of expression of church already, our church still feels like its in a very precarious position alot of the time! One of the things that I found particular helpful was that a number of people there today have young children or babies, and will be thinking through some of the same issues of bringing up children in the inner city, that we will. So although we’re now having those conversations just yet, it is good to know that there are people who are in the same position as us that we can get to know! It was also good to share some of  the challenges that Phil and I have discovered so far. Getting other people’s ideas and insight was very encouraging. So, a great day in all.

I came straight from the Induction Day and went straight to church. I wasn’t really in the best frame of mind after finding out from Phil that Gracie hadn’t slept or eaten well at nursery today. I’m finding the whole ’settling in’ week that Gracie has been having this week very difficult. Basically every day this week, Gracie has been going for lengthening periods of time, and today she was staying until 2:30pm. But it seems that she didn’t really think that sleeping in a place that wasn’t her bed was a good idea..! I’m sure that she will be fine and that in a couple of weeks she will get used to it, but I’m finding it so stressful..! It will only be for 2 days a week, but still, at the moment it feels like an eternity. I’m trying to be positive, but I’m finding it hard going!

Anyway, that aside, I really didn’t know how church was going to go. But Phil.W and I had a chat before church and talked through what we were doing, and things went really well. I think that people were listening and engaging with what was being talked about, and quite a few people stayed after church to chat and have a cup of tea. It was fab, especially because over the weekend Phil and I had been talking about how we missed ‘normal’ church every now and again, and also felt like we weren’t always able to relax and sort of just ‘be’ in church because one of us is usually looking after Gracie and the other might be doing something in church! So yeah, it was great to really feel like we could take some time to worship God and also have that time after church to just chat and be with people.

In other news, we went to Edinburgh this past weekend and packed up our flat so that we can put it on the market and also so that we can finally sleep on our own bed and not on a stupid airbed which we have been sleeping on for the last (nearly) 3 months! So our living room is now pretty packed full of boxes and we are slowly trying to get things sorted. It takes time, but its exciting seeing the things that we packed away 3 years again thinking that we would only be in Prague for a year! We’ve got some gorgeous wedding presents which we haven’t really been able to enjoy yet which we are looking forward to using. It’ll be great to have some pictures on the walls to, and just generally to start to feel like our house is a home.

Well, that’s enough for now. My comfy bed is calling. Love from Shadwell!

Church… the good, the not-so-bad and the beautiful.

Just got back from church. We usually meet on Wednesday and Sunday evenings. I feel tired, and confused and so many other things. Church is wonderful and difficult at the same time. It is wonderful because it is based on and around things that I believe in so much. The vision, values and distinctives of the church are absolutely what I believe they should be. The 4 key distinctives are to be a church seeking peace church, a local church, a multi-voiced church, and a church at the edge. While I was a student I was reading about so many interesting things going on with churches like ours, and churches trying to work in a challenging urban context. And I knew that God was calling us to this kind of church, and I still know that, but the reality of church life can sometimes be really hard. I’m struggling at the moment because I never know if something if going to work or not, whether people will get on board and like an idea or hate it and totally disengage. I feel frustrated because I don’t have a comfort zone yet, I don’t know what might usually ‘work’ or get people thinking or engaging with a topic in a new way. I think that the problem is that I don’t know what ‘normal’ is for our church yet, so its difficult to try something new because to me everything feels new! I’m struggling because I want to experiment with difficult kinds of worship, or different experiences/expressions of worship but I feel like I don’t know how to involve people in the journey of what that might look like. I feel like we’re all quite disconnected sometimes from each other, but I don’t know yet know to make us feel like we’re one in Christ. And I just have so many questions that don’t have easy answer (or answers at all yet!) that I don’t know what to do with myself. I want to be real, authentic and true in my discipleship, and I want to walk alongside others who are trying to do the same, that is my dream and my hope… that with God, we can work out who and what we are, and live out who God has made us to be in his world, calling others to live whole, forgiven and grace-filled lives.

Nurseries, childminders? Too many decisions!

Over the past few days I have been doing some research on nurseries and childminders for Gracie. I’m only working part-time at the moment, and up til now Phil has been at home, but he will hopefully be getting into work soon, so we need to have some options for Gracie is Phil is working full-time. Our real hope is that Phil and I will be able to combine our working weeks so that Gracie won’t have to go to nursery or a child-minder, but we have to think about plans B and C for if that can’t happen. Gracie is doing so well, and she’s such a little sociable baby, I think that she will really enjoy a couple of days in a nursery or with a childminder, but the tough part for us is trying to find the right place or person. There is lots of information around and loads of different places to try, but that’s almost the problem… there are too many choices. I have seen 1 nursery so far, I have appointments to see 2 more, and I’m meeting with childminders too. Its pretty time-consuming, but obviously we need to find the right person or place for our little princess. Argh, wish me luck!

From here to Copenhagen… on a bike?

Oh yes, it is possible (well, I hope!) and I am planning on doing it! In the warm, balmy loveliness of an English summer’s day, I made the quite huge decision to join Christian Aid’s bike ride from London to Copenhagen, arriving in time for the UN summit on climate change, and raising money for poor communities around the world in the meantime. It is a brilliant idea, and I am really excited about doing it… although slightly nervous about a) raising £2000, b) getting fit enough that I won’t die along the way. But, the good news is that a) some people have already sponsored me so they think that I can do it (or perhaps that think that I can’t and that their money is safe!) and b) I have finally started training! Hurrah! Today I rode 11 miles. 11 miles! I’m quite chuffed with myself. I mean, the ride from London to Copenhagen is 140 miles, so still a bit of training to do, but I’ve taken the first step… (or spin).

It was a lovely afternoon for a ride, so I just decided to head out and follow my nose… I ended up riding along the tow path and up to Victoria Park, which was gorgeous. I didn’t realise how huge or how beautiful this park was, I was very excited to discover it! However, I did get a teeny bit lost on the way home, but nevermind, its all part of the experience. So, the count down to Ride Day has begun… bring it on!

p.s. If you would like to sponsor me on my epic journey and help raise money for Christian Aid’s work amongst poor communities, please go to: http://original.justgiving.com/alexalexander

I am aiming to raise £2000, but it would be amazing if it could be more.

- £26 could pay the monthly salaray for a literacy teaching in Afghanistan, providing education for children in remote rural areas.

- £12.50 could pay for the tube needed to instal a well in El Salvador, providing access to a safe and constant supply of water.

- £22 could buy a kid goat in Angola to provide milk, meat and manure for families returning from war.

Please sponsor as generously as you can, and if you can’t at this time, please keep me in your prayers and thoughts… I think I’m gonna need them.

Back from South Africa

My grandfather, on my mom’s side, and my step-gran on my dad’s side, died within 4 days of each other two weeks ago. Whilst my grandfather had been getting more frail over a number of years, the death of my step-gran was unexpected and a great shock. I went to South Africa last week with Gracie to be with my family, and to go to my step-gran’s funeral. Matt had gone to my grandfather’s funeral. It was a challenging week, but it was good that we went. It was great to have Gracie with me too, she was wonderfully therapeutic. We spent special time with our family, on both sides, and it was good to have that time together. It is really strange to have gone from 3 grandparents to just one in the space of a few days, and I feel really sad that my step-gran, Aunty Enid, did not get to meet Gracie. She really would have loved her so much.

I had a special and wonderful childhood, and my grandparents were a huge part of that. I want to thank God for them, and for their love, warmth, generousity, support, and so so much more. This well-loved poem penned by Mary Elizabeth Frye comes to mind when I think about them.

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am in a thousand winds that blow,

I am the softly falling snow.

I am the gentle showers of rain,

I am the fields of ripening grain.

I am in the morning hush,

I am in the graceful rush

Of beautiful birds in circling flight,

I am the starshine of the night.

I am in the flowers that bloom,

I am in a quiet room.

I am in the birds that sing,

I am in each lovely thing.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there. I do not die.

Ma, Moppa and Aunty Enid, we love you. Thank you for your love for us.