heeelllooooo..!

Dear friends… sorry for not blogging in roughly a millions days… I have no excuse really… not really that busy, just relaxing, enjoying post-dissertation life..! I would love to say that I have been out sun-bathing every day, but sadly it has been a bit overcast and rainy here over the past few days. Phil and I had a good weekend: on Friday it was our seminary end-of-term BBQ (complete with grey clouds – like a normal British BBQ..!) which was great fun. Sausages and kebabs was followed by “Amazing Grace”, the film about William Wilberforce. I was expecting a sort of middle-of-the-road Christian film: you know the kind, nothing too exciting or inspiriing, nothing too dramatic and probably a bit preachy, but it was actually excellent..! I thought it was very moving, well acted and challenging… with some beautiful moments. I would recommend it.

On Saturday night, we had some friends from the seminary over to watch Eurovision 2008. This was actually the first time that I have ever watched Eurovision, but I think that it might become a highlight of the year… it was brilliant! One of my particular favourites was the entry from Latvia. The band was called ‘Pirates of the Sea’ and the song was called Wolves of the Sea. It included the incredible lyrics:

“With a hii hii hoo and a hii hii hey!
We’re hoisting the flag to be free
We will steal the show, Jolly Rogers go
We are wolves of the sea.”

Oh yes! Not only was this my first Eurovision, but we watched it with real European people too..! In attendance were representatives from: Lithuania and Bulgaria (sadly not finalists), Ukraine, Russia, and Serbia (the hosts for Eurovision). It was so much more hilarious watching it with ‘proper’ Europeans… anyway, if you want to enjoy the delight of Eurovision for yourself, you can watch all the videos etc here. It should bring you many many minutes of joy. 

On Sunday, after church and obligatory Sunday-afternoon nap, Phil and I began tackling the garden to the house that we have been house-sitting for the past year or so. We hadn’t mowed the lawn in… well… a wee while, so the grass was… erm… bountiful, you might say. We haven’t finished yet, so perhaps I’ll try to get some photos so that you can enjoy the full effect of the before and after garden..! I’m pretty happy with what we have done so far, but there is still a fair bit to do. I think that we’ll be really really happy with ourselves when we’re done.

One very sad piece of news which we received at the beginning of last week when our translator spoke to the social worker who is helping us through the adoption process here, was that we will only hear from the Magistrate (the next person along from our social worker) at the earliest, in September. We have not yet even got a letter from the Magistrate saying that they have started working through our paperwork. Considering that this is one of the first steps in the process, this is quite bad news for us. After we have received that letter, the next step is that they will invite us for psychological testing, then we have parenting classes, then we should go on the list of people waiting for children. When we began this process, we were expecting that we would proceed through the various steps at roughly the same time-frame that our friends who have adopted here did. However, so far, we are months and months behind them. Of course, we know that its different for each couple, but by most standards we are way behind what we expected. The Magistrate explained to our social worker that the reason that it is taking longer than expected is that there are more people entering the adoption process than previously. This is really great news, and we are happy that more people are wanting to adopt children here, but on the selfish level, it makes us feel very frustrated. If we have to wait until September before the Magistrate even begins working on our paperwork, and then invites us for our interviews, we have a long road ahead of us. We never thought that it would take us nearly 12 months to move from step 1 to step 2, and we were planning on leaving Prague in July 2009… so we are in a difficult situation. If we look at the progress of other people that we know who have gone through the process, from the time that they had their interviews til the time that the whole process was completed took over 12 months. At the moment we are so behind their time-frame, we don’t know how long it might take for us. We don’t feel like we can commit to being in Prague for as long as the process will take, as we have been told that it can take years and years. But that means that we either have to choose to go along with the process until we leave Prague, hoping that it will go quicker than it has so far; or we have to decide, based on our experience so far and what we have been warned by our social worker, that this is perhaps a ‘closed door’. We have been thinking, talking and praying about this over the past week, and although we feel like we have come to some decision, we would still appreciate your thoughts and prayers over the next wee while… as we work out what we should do. Its been hard news to hear, but at the same time, we were praying that we would either get a green light and that things would move forward, or we’d get a red light and have at least some end to the seemingly endless waiting with no news whatsoever. The annoying thing is that this is kind of a reddish-amber light: its not a complete ‘no’, but its not exactly encouragement-city either..! I think that this is the hardest part – the ‘what if’ questions. What if we wait? What if we don’t? What if we regret waiting? What if we regret not? Argh! Please pray that we will have peace with whatever decision we make. Thank you so much! We have really appreciated your thoughts and prayers for us so far.

Waiting, waiting…

Still nothing to say about adoption process. We’re still waiting. Waiting for..? We don’t even know what. Our translator said that we just have to be patient (or patientful as one of our students from last year used to say!). But its really tough! The social services department has had our paperwork for nearly 3 months, but we have heard nothing. Our translator phoned in January to check that they had everything that they needed etc, and she was told that they did and would contact her or us with further developments. But its been 2 months since then, and still nothing. I’m sure that it just feels like much much longer than it is, but (sigh) I just wish that we knew something… I feel so in the dark.

In the meantime we’re doing some reading, reflecting and talking about adoption, children, family stuff in general. But at the back of my mind, I have this fear that its not going to happen. That for some reason we will not be accepted. We have said to ourselves since the very beginning that we would continue to ‘push the door’ of adoption until we came to one that didn’t open, and so we continue to hope that it will happen… but that niggling feeling that its not going to, just doesn’t go away.

Anyway, aside from that, the good news is that lovely Laura is arriving in Prague tonight! Hurrah! We are going to have a fabulous weekend of drinking tea, chatting and wondering around Prague. I can’t wait!

Enjoy the weekend, one and all..!

Sitting with God

This Lent I want to try to be a bit more quiet… (I’ll continue as soon as the snickering has died down..!)

I think that we’re so good at being busy… we want to be as busy as we possibly can be, cramming a hundred things into our day. We pride ourselves on being busier than other people. But what is it all for? Busier lives don’t usually mean fuller lives, although if our lives were empty that wouldn’t be good either..! I think that the balance of work, play, noise and silence is really important… but its often difficult to work out. I think that this especially applies to our relationships with God. We are told (in good evangelical fashion) that we must have a ‘quiet time’ each day. So, we strive (usually) to do this… we rush into God’s presence, read a bit of Bible, say a prayer and then rush into the rest of the day… the ‘real’ part of our lives. We don’t take time to sit, be still, wait on God. I’ve been trying to do this more… but I find it really hard. I think that I’m doing well… you know, not just talking away to God, but trying to listen too… but then I realise that I’m just thinking about what we should have for dinner, or a conversation that I had with someone, or when I need to do for work that day. I guess that we can only hope that as we practice being still before God more, we will improve… but we need his help to do it!

On a different note, we still haven’t heard anything from the social services department about the papers that we handed in for the adoption. We at least know that they have them… but apart from that, nada. Its been nearly 2 months, but I know that I shouldn’t get impatient… everything will happen (or not happen) in God’s timing. (Yeah, that’s another thing that’s hard to get your head/heart around… just trusting God simply for every thing in life.) We know from friends who have been through this process that it doesn’t happen ultra quickly… but that it will work out in the end. We are holding onto the hope that they have encouraged us with, and to the knowledge that God is our loving Father, in whom we can fully trust. Keep praying for us though… that we can keep faithful, and that God would work out his will in our lives.

Back in Prague…

Phil and I are finally back in Prague after a rather long break (particularly for me) in the UK. We had a great time, but its also nice to be into ‘normal’ life again.

This year I will be working more hours per week for the European Baptist Federation, which is pretty good. I enjoy it, and get to meet some really interesting people. As well as that I will be carrying on with doing stuff in church, and also hopefully completing my dissertation. If I want to graduate in May (which I do!) then my dissertation needs to be finished by the end of March, beginning of April. Nothing like a deadline to focus the mind..! I’m really really hoping that I will make this deadline, as I just want to finish it now… otherwise I will drag it out over the summer, and make it much more painful than it needs to be! Phil is working in the library now, and also doing some editting work for students. I think that he loving the more regular hours and lots of time with our new iPOD.

Phil handed in our paperwork for the adoption to our social worker before Christmas, so we’re waiting to hear from the social services department on what happens next. We’re feeling quite patient, but we would really like to hear something sooner rather than later.

When I was in Kent I had a couple of fillings done, and one is completely fine but the other is causing me some pain. I would really appreciate your prayers that this will clear up, as I am quite worried about it.

Adoption thoughts continued…

Since Phil and I have started telling our friends and family that we are in the process of adopting a child, many people have been asking us questions about the whole process. At times I have felt frustrated by some people’s attitudes towards adoption, but I also understand that for some people it is strange that we are thinking about doing this at this time in our lives. Sometimes I don’t get the chance to say exactly why we are adopting and what it means to us, so below are a few reasons (in no particular order) for why Phil and I want to adopt.

1. Adoption has been part of our thinking for some time as a couple. I have thought about adopting a child since before I was married to Phil. It is something that I have always thought was a good thing.

2. For over a year we have been thinking about when we would like to start a family. We think that now is the right time, particularly as the adoption process takes some time.

3. We have been living in the Czech Republic for nearly a year and a half now. Since living there, we have become increasingly aware of the number of children that live in orphanages. This is a problem in eastern Europe in general, as there is not anything like the standard or access to social care that there is in western Europe.

4. We believe that in the Bible, God asks that his people take particular care of the orphan, the widow and the outsider. We think that this is not just an empty request, or perhaps some wishful thinking on God’s part, but a desire that God’s people act prophetically and radically in caring for and loving those who are traditionally forgotten or oppressed.

5. We passionately believe that every child deserves a loving family, and that this needs to be achieved through a three-pronged approach. Many children need immediate care and aid, this is frequently where charities are indispensible. Secondly, the overall quality of the lives of poor people needs to be lifted: this is a long-term goal which needs the political and economic stability of a country to be achieved. Thirdly, the overall goal is for children not to be separated from their families… which if the first 2 goals are achieved will naturally follow. The problem is, is that this is not happening as it should… and instead there are millions of children orphaned, abused and abandoned all over the world. Phil and I do not feel like we can ignore the call of God, nor the cries of children and just get on with having our ‘own’ children. We know that this is not normal, but we are not going into this process blind. We are very much aware of the many challenges that very possibly will come across our path, however… we cannot budge the desire and call to be a family to even just one or two of these children.

We hope that we will be able to engage in conversation with anyone who would like to talk about these things with us… it is something that we are so passionate about and we are always delighted to talk.

Just one more sleep…

Tomorrow evening Phil arrives in the garden of England… hoorah! We have been apart since the 17th November, so 4 weeks nearly to the day. It has been OK most of the time, as we both have been really busy, but the last week has been quite hard. I think its when you are away from your spouse that you really come to realise how important they are to you, particularly in the normal, everyday things… just having someone to talk to about your day, someone to bounce ideas off, someone to work through difficult situations, and someone to enjoy the beautiful moments of the day with. I can’t wait to see him again! We have spoken most evenings since we’ve been apart, but its not the same as speaking face to face about the crazy-everything that is life..! I’m looking forward to lots of kissing and cuddling too!

Today was also the oldies (from Horley Baptist Church) Christmas meal. We had a great time, even though we were all forced to wear those stupid hats that they make you wear at parties..! Not just the crown things that you get in Christmas crackers… much much more stupid ones than that. Anyway, it was great. I have got to know some of the group pretty well and we had a fun time. I hope that I won’t have to eat too many Christmas dinners before Christmas day though… its not my most favourite meal.

This Sunday will be my last Sunday (and last day) of my placement at Horley Baptist Church. I have had such an amazing time. I have met some of the most brilliant, fun, godly people, and learnt so much about church-life (the good, bad and the ugly!). I will be leading in the morning service, and preaching in the evening. The morning should be OK, though its quite hard to lead in a church that you don’t really know… and that is about 3 times the size of our church in Prague..! In the evening I am preaching on Mary’s song from Luke 1. I am pretty excited about this… but my sermon has some way to go til its ready. I’ll be working on it tonight and tomorrow… and maybe a bit on Saturday if need be..! But I have lots of thoughts going through my mind, so that’s always a good start.

Have a great weekend everyone. In the liturgical calendar of the church, this week is the third week of advent… and the theme for this week is ‘joy’. I hope and pray that you will be able to experience in whatever way, some of the joy that Christ’s birth, life, death and resurrection has made possible for us. And beyond having joy ourselves, that we can reach out to others to bring joy to them too.

p.s. I have had a few people saying to me that they would like to see more photos… I am really sorry about the lack of photo-fun recently, I promise that I will try to do better..!

p.p.s. Phil is taking all our paperwork to our social worker tomorrow. This is so exciting but also flipping scary..! Please pray that all our papers will be in order and that the social work department will be happy to move us on to the next stage in the adoption process. Thank you for your prayers… we really appreciate the support that many of you have given to us so far..!

Police records arrived..!

For the adoption Phil and I had to get our police records checked… namely to make sure that we didn’t have anything held on the Police National Computer records..! We have been waiting for them to arrive for nearly 40 days, and I was getting impatient, as we can’t hand in any of our paperwork until we had them and they were translated. Anyway, happily, they arrived just the other day and I posted them off to Prague to Phil. We have just a couple of other bits of paper to get and then he can photocopy everything and then take it down to the social work department..!! Yeeeee hhhhhaaaa!! We are on the verge of taking one step closer to being parents..!

National Adoption Week 5 – 11 November

Today is the beginning of National Adoption Week in the UK. It is therefore a good time for anyone who is interested, and perhaps even more importantly for those who are not interested (!) to find out more about adoption: why it should or shouldn’t be done, who can adopt and why on earth anyone would even want to adopt! The website of National Adoption Week is http://www.nationaladoptionweek.org.uk/ but there are many other websites out there that are helpful and informative.

Happy reading!

The Giant’s Causeway and other fun

We got back from Northern Ireland on Sunday evening, after a weekend full of family fun! We had a fantastic time with all of Phil’s extended family (on his mom’s side) including little Alfie who is the latest addition to the family and is only 4 weeks old. He is completely adorable. We were up at the Giant’s Causeway and apart from the rain, it was beautiful. On Sunday morning I just happened to wake up early and it was beautifully clear and sunny. I left Phil sleeping away and went for a walk along the coastal path that runs on the top of the cliffs. It was a really special time… walking, singing, enjoying the stunning coastal views. No-one else was around and it was that sort of sacred time before the rest of the world wakes up. Gorgeous.

On Tuesday we had our home study visit from our social worker who will be our case worker for the adoption. Her name is Mrs Kristofova (affectionately known as ‘Mrs K’) and is an angel from heaven. She is so friendly and encouraging… and just such a blessing to us. She came around to visit us in our own home setting and to ask us some more questions about our future plans in life, our finances, our jobs and studies etc etc. Phil and I had scrubbed the house from top to bottom the previous evening, expecting that she would go around with a magnifying glass looking for dust, but she just sort of wandered in, looked around and then started chatting with us. We had a good time with her and our translator Mirka.

So we plough on with our application forms. We’ve had a rough couple of days with this, because we have to get all sorts of legal letters from IBTS for Phil’s employment and its a bit of a nightmare because Czech taxation is pretty high… so that’s been tough, but Phil has been a great support and encouragement to me. He keeps us being hopeful when I have given up, and he keeps us focusing on the positives when all I see sometimes are obstacles. At the moment we are waiting on our police checks coming from the UK, and an official letter from the Foreigners Police (otherwise known as the Foreigners Hall of Pain) to say that we are officially living where we say we are living! We also need to go to the doctor to make sure that we’re both healthy, and write our life stories so far (!) and why we want to adopt etc. :) And then we can give all these things to Mrs K and hopefully move on in the process. (sigh)

We would really appreciate your continued prayers for us and we follow God down this path, and as we prepare mentally, physical, emotionally and financially to add a little one to our family. The adventure continues to unfold…

It was also Phil’s birthday yesterday..! He is a grand 27 years old. We had a great time with some of the students, who prepared all sorts of fun for Phil. 4 of them dressed up (including beard) as Phil and held a minature lesson in his style… it was pretty hilarious. We also ate many many pancakes in honour of Phil… so a great night all round.

Forms and Kanzelsberger book shop

This afternoon Phil and I went into Prague to meet our translator, Mirka, in the coffee bar of Kanzelsberger book shop (just off Wenceslas Square… a great little place!). Last week we got a friend to help us with understanding what the forms meant, so we had thought about what we wanted to say, but had no way to say what we wanted to! So we spent some time with Mirka, explaining our thoughts and answers to the questions. It was a great time of getting to know her better, and talking about the whole adoption process, kids, living in the Czech Republic etc. Talking about why we want to adopt and the experiences of other people who have adopted really helps to encourage us as we walk down this not-so-well-worn-path to forming a family. We left the meeting with Mirka feeling excited about the road that lies ahead of us and becoming parents.

On our forms we had to say what sex of child we would prefer. As we thought that when you get pregnant you don’t know what you’re going to have, nor do you have any way of planning to get one sex or another, we would prefer to say that we didn’t mind either a girl or a boy. I’ve read, and been told by other people that statistically, if people specify a sex for their child, they ask for girls… so I really think that we’ll be getting a boy, but I could be wrong. Anyway, at the moment we don’t know, but we didn’t want to just be calling our future child “it” when we’re talking about them. Last night we were discussing what nickname we should call them, and we were both looking around the kitchen where we were standing for some inspiration (I don’t know why we thought that something in the kitchen would inspire us, but nevermind) and my eye caught the packaging of a cake mix in the cupboard… hence from last night, “Dort” has become our child’s nickname..! (Dort means “cake” in Czech, so we thought it was a good unisex name..!)

Anyway, the adventure of the forms continues. We have completed most of them, but still have our biographies to write, and to get our police checks back from the UK. We are having our home study visit on Tuesday, so please pray that that will go well. It will be an extended interview, asking us questions about why we want to adopt, what our childhoods were like, our family backgrounds, our future plans… those sorts of things. I think that it should be OK, but its still pretty nerve-wracking. Pray that we can be ourselves and that we will give a good account of ourselves. And pray for Mirka as she translates everything for us!

This weekend we are off to sunny Northern Ireland for Phil’s aunt Sandra’s 50th birthday! Its going to be a really big family reunion, I think that all the extended family will be there, all Phil’s aunts and uncles (his mom is one of 7 kids) as well as their children, and their children’s children! I’m really looking forward to it… so I hope that we have a great time.

Have a great weekend too!